Is Your Relationship Heading into

Dangerous Territory?

Dr. Jill Murray, a licensed psychotherapist and abuse prevention specialist, offers this checklist to see if your relationship may be abusive.  Try to be as honest as you can and just answer 'yes' or 'no'.  Do not give reasons or excuses for the behaviors.

Do You See Yourself or a Friend in the Following Questions?

• Does your partner put you down?
• Does your partner make you feel badly about yourself?
• Does your partner call you names?
• Does your partner play mind games with you?
• Does your partner make you feel guilty?
• Does your partner humiliate you?
• Does your partner make all of the decisions?
• Are you afraid of your partner or feel like you have to walk on pins and needles sometimes to keep your partner from getting angry?
• Does your partner make you feel afraid by giving you looks, actions, or gestures?
• Does your partner smash things or put his/her fist through walls?
• Has your partner ever hit, slapped, or pushed you?
• Does your partner make light of your feelings or not take your concerns seriously?
• Have you ever been forced by your partner to do something you didn't want to do?
• Does your partner shift the responsibility for abusive behavior to you?
• Does your partner say you caused his/her actions?
• Does your partner threaten to hurt you, your family, or your pets?
• Does your partner threaten suicide if you leave or end the relationship?
• Does your partner manipulate you to have sex with him/her?
• Does your partner try to control what you do or who you see?
• Is your partner very jealous?

If you answer 'yes' to any of the questions, then you may be in an abusive relationship. If you are concerned about your relationship and would like to talk further with a counselor, you may want to consider setting up an appointment at the MU Counseling Center.  The Counseling Center offers free counseling services for women and men in a safe and supportive environment.  You may also contact the Counseling Center for consultation about a friend or acquaintance that you are concerned about.