How to Help a Friend Who Has Been

Sexually Assaulted

Students play a key role in supporting students who have been sexually assaulted.  In fact results from a recent study conducted at MU (Wandrei, 2003) reveal that 80% of student victims go to their peers first to get help and talk about the incident.  Would you know what to do if a friend told you that they have been sexually assaulted?  The Counseling Center is a resource for both you and the victim – don't hesitate to contact us at 8-7172.

Common Reaction to Sexual Assault

Each person reacts differently to an assault.  However, there are some reactions that tend to be common among sexual assault survivors.  These responses include:

• Shock, Disbelief, Numbness, Withdrawl

• Preoccupation with thoughts and feelings about the assault

• Unwanted memories, flashbacks, and/or nightmares

• Intense emotions – anger, fear, anxiety, depression

• Physical Symptoms – sleep disturbances, headaches, stomach aches

• Inability to concentrate, Lower grades

• Loss of interest in physical intimacy

• Fears about safety

• Feelings of guilt and shame

Helping the Sexual Assault Survivor

1. Support – Support and understanding are essential for healing.  One of the most critical ingredients to a survivor's recovery is how the people she/he discloses to respond.  Listen and believe the survivor.  It takes a lot of courage for someone to share what has happened.  Don't press for details – let them decide how much they are comfortable telling you and ask how you can help.  Do not infer blame through 'why' questions.

2. Refer the Student to On-Campus and Off-Campus Services – Seeking assistance from any resource must always be the survivor's choice – don't badger or force the person to seek additional help.  Your job is to empower them with options and then respect their decision – even if it is not what you would have chosen.  A list of resources is included on the back of this sheet.

3. Confidentiality – An important part of reestablishing safety and control is recognizing the importance of confidentiality and privacy.  It is important not to share information about the assault with others who are not involved.  If you do need to share information, get the survivor's permission by letting them know what information you will share and with whom it will be shared.